| > when parents were held responsible for their kids Yet your comment reminds me of be the modern opposite take on parental responsibility: blame most everything on childhood trauma, and blame trauma on the parents. We used to blame autism on mothers. Seriously, we make as much sense as our ancestors blaming miasma for sickness. Remember the hellscape fad of recovering repressed memories? There are people that blame trauma on their past lives! We all literally have no idea about any of this: our best bet is to be non-judgemental, do our best to create good communities, and to accept our own ignorance. > The results, I mean the kids, always show how parenting went Why is this such a common way to think? Personally some of the worst things I have done I have learnt from my peers. My middle-class innocent parents are not to blame. > Mother is a safe haven and initial care and nurture I think stereotypes are dangerous. I'm middle-aged and while we can make generalisations about mothers and fathers, I've learnt that those generalisations can't be applied to individual mothers and fathers. And conversing about this is just plain hard. I definitely don't want to attack you: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35576696 Anyways: To my best knowledge I've really veered off the path - please don't delve into my comment too far. Black and white thinking can be a problem and I'm just as guilty of that as anybody: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splitting_(psychology) |