[happytiger]

This is beautiful. Thank you.

I think people don’t understand how important just being there for your family actually is. Sometimes it’s enough just to be reliable, stand for good and just be present. Sounds like he really knew it.

[nonrandomstring]

A Rick Roderick quote comes to mind;

  "" Now, I hate the movie The Big Chill, let me make that clear, and
     I hope I can’t be sued for hating a movie, I hate The Big Chill,
     because it’s about members of my generation, all of whom have
     become swine. The only person in the movie I like is dead when
     the movie starts, and they are having his funeral, and the old
     preacher says something quite profound. He asks the crowd of
     young yuppies, he goes "Isn’t our common life together and just
     being a good man enough to sustain us anymore?" And the answer to
     that is 'No, it’s not'.  ""

[pixelmonkey]

Interesting. I recently rewatched "The Big Chill" and wrote a reflection about the movie vs the internet age:

https://amontalenti.com/2023/12/28/the-blog-chill

[nonrandomstring]

Enjoyed that very much, as I do all small blog pieces written with heart. Good to read your contrast of Big Chill with Roderick's take. (He's a serious joker, for me a kinda Bill Hicks who took the job title philosopher instead of stand-up comedian)

> they are only honest with themselves about this in the private setting

I'm sure you're aware of the phase "social cooling" [0] TBH I am astonished by the extreme difference between the thoughts I hear expressed in real life, and those "safe" ones people put online now. Things have completely flipped. 20 years ago we put our edgy personas online and kept IRL reserved and acceptable. Other than on 4chan etc, which are performance dramas, people have it the other way about now. So you're right; there is a "big chill" in blogging, but a counter out there in the streets and bars.

> I feel a chill coming over my desire to write and publish freely on the internet

Seriously, don't let the bastards get you down :) Don't get me wrong I love code (python too :) and I love writing about my own corner of comp.sci (DSP), but in 50 years if anyone's still here to read, which are the essays they will still care about? That thought only gives me more courage, in a way what I'm writing [1] is for "the survivors", not the audience out there now.

[0] https://www.socialcooling.com/

[1] https://cybershow.uk

[pixelmonkey]

Well said.

[ericmcer]

I am struggling a bit with this right now. Being a provider in the modern age means less than it used to. It feels like paying all the bills and being reliable isn’t valued much.

[all2]

Your feelings are correct. The role of provider and protector has been largely taken over by the state. And fathers are much maligned at this point in most popular media.