[cwillu]

Ode to The Paint on Nuclear Submarines

    The purpose of the hull is to protect the paint.
    The purpose of the reactor is to drive the paint around.
    The purpose of the SUBSAFE program is to ensure the paint comes to the surface and will not be lost.
    The purpose of the cathodic protection system is to back up the paint.
    The purpose of the weapons is to defend the paint.
   The purpose of the Special Hull Treatment is to protect the paint.
   The purpose of the Vertical Launch System is to destroy those who would do the paint harm.

--Naval Research Lab

[Intralexical]

What's the purpose of the crew? Provide the paint company?

[cwillu]

The purpose of the crew is to reapply the paint.

[euroderf]

They are the only carbon-based life forms, otherwise useless to the paint, capable of touching up the paint.