[addcn]

This clicked for me when someone explained that fault != responsibility.

It unlocked the whole thing. I could take responsibility for getting the life I wanted, but that did not mean the bad things that came my way were my fault. Bad shit always comes, not always as a result of my actions, but it's always my responsibility to change the situation.

[StefanBatory]

I actually do believe it further; bad things coming my way are mine and only fault no matter by what they're caused.

I always could do something. to prevent that.

It's both admitting responsibility and assigning fault, not only the first one. I believe it's the only moral way

[addcn]

I buy. I’m not quite to that level but I certainly can see that mindset working.

Whatever sail catches the right wind, and gets you where you are going is the right said.

[StefanBatory]

In the end it's supposed to be freeing, as you say.

If everything depends on me only, then I'm free to change. And it prevents me from being vain, forcing humbleness.

[satvikpendem]

Your philosophy actually seems more crippling than freeing, in my understanding. What if there were some traumatic event where you thought you could've stopped it (but in reality there was nothing you could've done)? Your philosophy of extreme ownership means that you would assign blame to yourself, a textbook example of survivor's guilt. I understand what you're getting at but at the extreme, it seems hazardous. I'd take it in moderation.