[_boffin_]

Fight yourself. Fight yourself all day as the world doesn’t revolve around you. Learn how to compensate for tote issues. Do t change up everything, but learn to communicate. Carry something to fidget with that allows your hand to move as much as needed which then allows the body to be a little bit calmer and focused.

I carry a satin sash everywhere that I constantly play with. Always out of sight, but I’m playing with it. It allows me to take some of that energy and spend it there while I fight myself to pay attention.

You’ve stated issues you have focusing on the interview. Work on those. Go get purposely bored and work on those skills.

It’s not fun. It sucks. But you’re not going to change until the pain of change is less than the pain of staying the same.

[BizarreByte]

> Fight yourself. Fight yourself all day as the world doesn’t revolve around you.

As I can personally attest to, sometimes this just leads to complete burn out and mental break down rather than self-improvement.

OP: Keep going to the person who diagnosed you (or a therapist who focuses on things like ADHD) if possible and absolutely look into getting medicated if you aren't. Medication isn't a silver bullet, but it's been invaluable to me.

[freedomben]

I agree, if taken literally and to the extreme, fight yourself is bad advice on the long-term as it can lead to burnout and eventually giving up.

It resonates with me however, not so much as battling non-stop, but more so with controlling urges and making yourself voluntarily uncomfortable in an effort to improve.

For example, many people with ADHD have an extremely hard time being bored. This leads to a constant flow of attention to things like mobile devices, TVs, etc. This also tends to deplete dopamine, which further aggravates the ADHD. By making yourself bored, you can both preserve dopamine, but also work on retraining yourself on how to handle downtime. If you are also suffering from electronic addiction, then this helps break the cycle. Jonathan heights new book. The anxious generation is absolutely a must read for people with ADHD. He goes very deep into all of this in a way that is very accessible. There are things that are aggravating my condition that I never considered and have never heard before. I'm sure it is out there as he isn't doing groundbreaking research here, but his ability to organize, filter, and articulate is incredible. I also highly recommend it if you have children.

[sillycorn]

I tried using some fiddling stuff in past around people, it seems to annoy them.

But yeah, having this diagnosis was a relief in a way, it answered the unknown to me.

I'm still learning on how to cope with it, but definitely some helpful suggestions thanks.

[_boffin_]

When I do it, it’s always off camera. If I’m in person, depending who I’m around, if it’s close friends, I’ll just take it out and mess around with it. If not close friends, that’s where the fight comes in.

I had a professor once who I confessed to that I’ve read a paragraph more than 20 times and I don’t remember any of it, even after I just finished reading it. It was in a subject that didn’t interest me too much, and yeah, since I didn’t care too much about it, it was a damn fight to even sit there and get myself through that paragraph, let alone, remember it as there’s a battle going on in my head for attention.

The thing he said to me is something I’ll never forget, and that is, “when you’re going through that material that doesn’t interest you that much or at all, try and find figure out why the author of it found it so interesting. Why did the author spend their time and energy to research and publish this material? Look at it through their eyes and find their interest.” That reframing of how I go about reading has helped me more than almost anything else has.

Find ways to cope, reframe, and understand what feelings lead to what levels of inattention, anxiety, frustrations, etc…

[freedomben]

Yeah, the annoyance to others is a big thing. I've had success getting stuff that is quiet and sits in my pocket. If you search on Amazon for ADHD fidget toys for adults, you'll find quite a few options. The one that works the best for me, is a little brass cube that has gears on each side. You can spin the gears easily in your pocket without looking , and it is completely noiseless. I also use it during video meetings where I can hold it off camera.

Whatever you do, when you are in front of people, don't pick something that makes noise :-) it will annoy almost everyone, but very few people are willing to tell you.