[nils-m-holm]

Unfortunately, there is little empathy on the Internet. People will take the two bits of information you offer, think they understood the whole situation with all its facets perfectly, and start to give questionable advice and mete out harsh judgement. The intent may be good, but the outcome is no better here on HN than on the more infamous platforms.

So my unasked-for advice would be to not discuss your situation with people on the Internet and as quickly as possible forget what they told you or think about you. You are the only one who really knows what is going on. So is your son, BTW. So what does he want? (Don't answer here!)