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by lenerdenator 807 days ago
"Transfer more value! Transfer more value! Transfer more value!", the shareholders chanted, as the virgin shrieked on her descent into the throat of an active volcano.

"It is done!", responded the CEO, eyes hidden behind the ceremonial quarterly meeting headdress, shielding them from the immense heat of the lava.
2 comments
gremlinsinc 807 days ago
I'm calling it Pure O2... studies say we can inject ads into 80% of a players view before causing seizures... (not verbatim) -- ready player one...
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SlightlyLeftPad 807 days ago
I, for one, would read the rest of this story.
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lenerdenator 807 days ago
For the rest of the tale, I recommend you follow the stock symbol "ORCL" on the NYSE.

Rather curious that Mr. Ellison owns an island in a volcanic archipelago, isn't it?

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aidenn0 807 days ago
Speaking of which, the one question I've always wanted to ask bcantrill is if he meant to say "Don't make the mistake of anthropomorphizing Oracle" when he said "Don't make the mistake of anthropomorphizing Larry Ellison."

On purpose or not it was a great sentence, but if it were premeditated, that only makes it better.

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yjftsjthsd-h 806 days ago
> if he meant to say "Don't make the mistake of anthropomorphizing Oracle" when he said "Don't make the mistake of anthropomorphizing Larry Ellison."

Perhaps not that exact phrasing, but I'd say he said both; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zRN7XLCRhc&t=33m - I have it in my quotes file as

> You need to think of Larry Ellison the way you think of a lawnmower. You don't anthropomorphize your lawnmower, the lawnmower just mows the lawn, you stick your hand in there and it'll chop it off, the end. You don't think 'oh, the lawnmower hates me' -- lawnmower doesn't give a shit about you, lawnmower can't hate you. Don't anthropomorphize the lawnmower. Don't fall into that trap about Oracle.

and a bit later,

> Do not fall into the trap of anthropomorphizing Larry Ellison

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nmeagent 806 days ago
"I want to hire you, Joe Banks. I want to hire you -- to jump into a volcano."

Joe had just seen a Dr. Ellison. Coincidence? Yes, absolutely, of course it is.

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