[bachmeier]

I wrote my response while you posted, but it basically supports what I was saying.

> I think it's more so about having a good spouse

I wouldn't say it's about a "good" spouse. It's tough, and if it's too much for the spouse, maybe the grad student should consider dropping out. Nobody knows how it's going to work until they do it. This is especially true if they moved far from home for grad school.