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See a therapist. Seriously. You are okay no matter what. You are loved and fun and a great person. The only thing missing is you seeing that. A therapist is one of many routes towards that. Life is too short to try to "be like you guys".

[cypherofreal1ty]

i am honestly not even that good a person to my loved ones, that makes things worse. i just wanna be a successful person who doesn't have to worry about money and tech is a good way to get there since i don't really know how to deal with and understand people either