[xtracto]

You are depressed. You may want to check on that.

Aside of that, most people become good at something just by practicing. The first thousand hours of doing something are a chore, and suck. But once you start mastering it, it becomes a joy.

Finally, it is your choice, if you want to be like the "prototypical " HN user. HN is an anomaly in the US culture of "productivity" . And the US also has some crazy "work to live" culture you don't see in other places.

I'm from Mexico, and over here most people live a veeery relaxed life. No need to be ruthlessly productive. But that's a choice you ought to make.

[cypherofreal1ty]

Of course i am depressed, i have had some other revelations in the past 2 years that have shattered my psyche even more. You see, i was raised in a family where there is strong belief in God and living a good, honest and hard working life. but i finally realized that this entity my loved ones so strongly believe in to get through tough times and help people selflessly is a sham, that has caused terrible suffering that we can never quantify, probably is also the reason for our senseless overpopulation.

So it turns out life is inherently meaningless with no higher purpose, and i also wasted a lot of it daydreaming about making it big, and making the world a better place but put zero effort in that or any other facet of living.

Since life really doesn't have meaning, having money would atleast give me and my loved ones security and the ability to do nothing (which i love) but to get there, i need to be a productive, crazily-driven tech czar or something similar. And what better place to ask this than Hackernews. America's crazy work culture is why the country and it's people are so success and i want a piece of that pie.

[fylham]

Two paths to the relaxed lifestyle: 1) only work about as much as needed and keep a low-key, relaxed lifestyle; 2) work crazy hard for 15-20 years and then if everything works out perfectly, slow down and keep a low-key, relaxed lifestyle. All of my life experience suggests that option two is often a trap that keeps one away from relaxation.

Also, sounds like you could benefit from an existential psychotherapist, if you could find one.

Kind of random movie suggestion, but this all makes me think of the lovely movie I Heart Huckabees.

[cypherofreal1ty]

I want to work hard, but i am not even able to do the bare minimum work that is needed. Second, i want to work in such a way that i derive enough value (money) and not still be at the mercy of inflation and the various financial "Traps". So, two obstacles i do not know how to cross.