[nuancebydefault]

I sometimes feel that way as well, feel misunderstood and hence people become sad or upset.

I think it is not really emotional intelligence that you need or should be looking for. It feels like the problem/solution is more, how to connect more deeply with people. For that to happen, you need to communicate a lot (especially active listening) and feel/show empathy. Once there is this deeper connection, people trust you more and will be more open to explain their feelings.

Easier said than done but practice makes (almost) perfect.