[beezlebroxxxxxx]

It's difficult to see what you actually want.

If your looking to understand people better, their aspirations, desires, reasons, I would recommend reading fiction, complex or realist/naturalist fiction in particular.

Otherwise, you might look at conflict resolution books which often have step-by-step examples and suggestions.

Also I would not be super hard on yourself. A lot of this simply comes from practice and trial and error of actually interacting with people. You can read all you want, but putting it into practice is different.