[llmblockchain]

I grew up very poor in the USA (in a housing project). I ended up becoming successful/wealthy by most people's yardstick, but it took a long time for me to grow out of the poor mindset.

For the longest time I never bought anything for myself. I had half a million in income and wouldn't even buy a snack or anything because it felt "wrong" the same way I couldn't justify it when I was a kid.

Before I was married I didn't even own a bed (I coded on a lawn chair in my apartment and used a cardboard box for my table. I didn't own a TV, car, etc.

Even though I build things for my livelihood, I couldn't justify buying a new machine, etc.

I started to come out of that mindset after getting married. I enjoyed buying things for others (my spouse, then my kids). My spouse then urged (forced) me to buy things for myself. Come to think of it, maybe I never grew out of that mindset. If I wasn't married I would still be living that way. The only reason I'm not is because my wife urges (forces) me not to.

Err, get married?

[bluedino]

>> but it took a long time for me to grow out of the poor mindset.

>> For the longest time I never bought anything for myself.

For many, the "poor mindset" is to spend every dime you get, often to buy frivolous things

[zero_k]

I get you. It took me a looong time to come to terms with the fact that I can buy myself some nice things, even though I was already gifting nice things to others. I still only rarely buy nice stuff for myself, but I am learning. I bought myself a high-end computer (5950x & RTX 3070) 3 years ago, and I realized how important it is to spend -- it's sometimes cheaper than buying it later (it was the beginning of the silicon crisis), and you get to enjoy it a lot. I still pay a lot of attention to what I buy and for what purpose, but I am less crazy about not spending it.

It takes actual time to learn to spend, and you gotta be patient with yourself.

[neilv]

> Before I was married I didn't even own a bed. [...] My spouse then urged (forced) me to buy things for myself.

I worked for years while sleeping on the floor (on a bedsheet, over carpet), even once I could arguably afford a bed. It took a girlfriend to convince me that I should finally, urgently buy a bed (well, an unfinished pine futon frame, from a warehouse outlet).

Maybe the current pause in VC-powered-growth startups means founders&engineers with latent frugality skills will really shine? :)

[rednerrus]

Getting married is a really good way to get new culture in your life. Getting married really helped me move out of the povery mindset I grew up with.