Its like dating, if the other party is interested in you, they will reach out.
By reaching out to them, you may look like a desparate, which can lower your chances during negotitation stage (that would point them that you are only in a process with them).
Unless you are involved in more than one process that you try to keep in sync (useful for negotiation strategy) I would not reach out first.
My current FAANG job I applied in March of 2022 and was sent an offer in October of 2022. Senior software engineer, and there was a hiring freeze in the middle of that.
I was also interviewing other places and it generally took at least two months to do a full interview loop before I got to the offer stage or rejected (I didn't fail any screens).
These were all FAANG and adjacent companies though, this last round of job hoping I decided to try huge companies only.
Startups usually move much quicker if they have headcount.
>how long after the last interview did it take to extend an offer or deny you?
If you're certain your last interview was a final interview, you should ideally hear something within 24hrs. Allowing up to 48hrs is polite. Anything beyond that it is 100% reasonable for you to reach out to them and ask for an update.
Sr AppSec Engr role - last interview friday, sent thank you email to recruiter monday, he responded tues saying he would see if the hiring mgr has an update....... so idk.
By reaching out to them, you may look like a desparate, which can lower your chances during negotitation stage (that would point them that you are only in a process with them).
Unless you are involved in more than one process that you try to keep in sync (useful for negotiation strategy) I would not reach out first.