[theGnuMe]

Yes it is possible and you will make it thru. You are on a journey of self discovery and enlightenment and you recognize that something is wrong, that your life is out of balance with your values. That is a huge step. This is big psychic pain which is a real thing like real pain is when you break a leg.

You are also experiencing something called "learned helplessness". Learned helplessness and depression are inevitable responses to long term stress. Inevitable means every human will experience it. You are stuck in a shitty job you hate and can't get out of and have no control over. The lack of control piece is fundamental to that stress. This is the rat in the shock box experiment. The rat becomes depressed because it can't control or stop the shocks.

You know you are depressed like the rat in the box... so take this very seriously and seek out a therapist and even ask your doctor about medication. The therapist will teach you skills to understand yourself and strategies to cope or change.. and the medications will probably help. Start with the professionals: a therapist and a medical doctor. Eventually you learn that the box is a lie and you can step out of it at anytime and go off free from the trap.