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by robocat
822 days ago
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We can naively split the world into two types of people: givers and takers. I'm guessing you are a giver and you are feeling resentful because too much is being taken from you. But it is actually your choice about how much to give that causes your resentment. Watch for how others deal with giving and taking in work and romantic situations. The ideal solution is to find a place to work that consists mostly of givers. It is not easy to find these places - look for somewhere that people never quit because they all like who they work with. This comment feels ill-advised and poorly thought out, but it's a way of looking at life I'm still investigating for myself. Hopefully it helps, but I fear it could harm... |
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It’s a sliding scale and not set in stone. I used to be too much on the giver side until burnout forced me to learn how to apportion my time better.
At the end of the day, most employers pay you to spend x hours per day solving their problems and thus creating value. If you stretch and give them more than you are obligated to then is it really their fault or your fault? You should use neutral phrases like “I don’t currently have bandwidth for this” or “I can’t make any promises because X is a higher priority”. Your manager most likely has no clue of how overloaded you are and will appreciate being informed before it becomes a medical issue.
Of course, some employers are toxic and will not take no for an answer. These are the exception to the rule and the only resolution really is finding a new job.