[alumic]

OP, I apologize as it doesn't quite answer your question but I discovered this article [0] many years after going through what I later identified as a series of depressive episodes. I revisit it every so often to remind myself that even in those moments, life is worth the weight of your efforts.

Longform articles notwithstanding, do you have any interest in audiobooks? I recall Moby Dick filling a similar role.

[0] https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2005/10/lincoln...