[Extasia785]

I've started doing something similar around a year ago, after noticing that I reached basically all goals I set out for myself after school. I was at a point where I felt like I stopped growing as a person and found myself unhappy with my life, yet was seemingly stuck.

What I did was to have a very strong introspection over a few weeks. I thought about each important aspect of my life - social life, family, career, hobbies, health, even my daily structure - and formulated a very specific target for each area. Basically a well thought out fantasy character. This was hard work, it took many nights of thinking and it's honestly a process that never stops, even nowadays I still update that document from time to time.

Once I had a list I was reasonably happy with, I started thinking of the type of person that would reach that goals and what kind of habits they had. And then I started implementing them. The most important part here is a habit of doing stuff. I can not stress enough how important that is, everything else pales in comparison. I recommend reading Atomic Habits and personally follow the "Getting Things Done" system. But once you have written down everything you need to do and actually do it, you have a superpower and the ability to transform every part of your life in a few months. I found that most "hard" things in life are actually quite easy to do, it's just that doing stuff consistently is extremely hard.

I agree with the author, simply telling people about your future self also helps massively. The first time it will feel extremely weird, like talking about a fantasy character. You will talk about some guy you seemingly have nothing in common with and talk about future achievements with absolutely nothing to back it up. But do it 2-3 times and suddenly that future self will feel familiar. Do it some more, take some steps to be that person and suddenly you'll be far more similar to that guy than you could've ever envisioned.

At least for myself this process was the most important thing I've ever done in my life. I've gone from a pretty shy, boring, somewhat depressed and risk-averse guy to moving across the country for an awesome job, restarting my entire social life and solo-travelling across the world. And most importantly, I'm happy now, it feels like I'm finally me and not just the product of my upbringing and surroundings.

[klysm]

I’m so incredibly far from this level of self actualization that it scares me. I think it’s mostly the ADHD traits that make habit formation difficult: I’m usually stuck fighting for the bottom of my Maslows pyramid

[dartos]

I’m also someone with ADHD and I think looking at all the steps from here to there really discourages me.

I read a quote recently that said that great things don’t just happen, they’re the accumulation of consistent daily efforts.

I really want to make a publish a game after ~20 years of making (the majority of some) games as a hobby.

My route there, as someone who also has a hard time forming habits, is to really push to do _anything_ to further my game every single day.

That might be just sketching a mechanic in my notebook, or starting the MC’s character model, or even just emailing my game dev friends asking for feedback.

My hope is that the accumulation of these daily acts will get me there. It may take longer than others who can stay focused for more than 30 mins at a time, and that’s ok.

This is my path and my game.

[klysm]

Yeah “Just Showing Up” and not having inflated expectations for results is a great way to stay working on something long term for me. That’s difficult because the lure of perfectionism is usually what entices me to start in the first place.

[CooCooCaCha]

I’ve seen a lot of self-help stuff on habits but not perfectionism. I’d love to figure out a way to beat it because i think part of my laziness and procrastination is from anxiety around doing something i judge as bad.

[CooCooCaCha]

I’m in the exact same boat, ADHD and gamedev. And my solution is the same, do a little bit every day.

I have experience with programming and audio so the only thing I’m missing is art skills. So my routine is 30 minutes of programming and 30 minutes of art practice per day. It seems to be working so far.

[chrisoconnell]

I was diagnosed with ADHD last year, at 31 years old. It made so much sense.

The idea of your "future self" is actually what helped me improve my ability to form habits.

"If I do X, Y, Z, today, then tomorrow I only have to do A and I have all this free time. Let me be miserable today so I don't have to be stressed tomorrow and I can do anything I want."

It allowed me to unleash my ADHD and kind of embrace it almost on alternating days.

One of Hal Hershfield's talk's had mentioned that we always imagine our "Future Self" will be less busy than we are today, so we won't over extend ourselves today, because tomorrow you'll be less stressed. But this isn't usually the case.

For example: You won't have any more ability to make it to the bank tomorrow, than you do today. So if you do it today, tomorrow you won't even have to think about it. Your ADHD is less likely to fire off with all the other things you "have to do". If you only have one task, you can kind of just do it.

This has been a game changer mentality for my executive function disorder.

[stephenitis]

I'm curious, How did you get diagnosed at 31?

[chrisoconnell]

I went to the doctor because I was having difficulty doing the things I really loved. Mountain Biking, Hiking, etc. The motivation wasn't there, but it's all I wanted to do, but couldn't mentally get the drive to do it.

I assumed this was depression, and after some questions, the doctor insisted that it wasn't depression and asked if I had been diagnosed with ADHD in the past.

Then, he asked me to try Wellbutrin as an off-label use for ADHD, which dramatically changed my ability to function. I have since stopped taking it as I have a lot of systems in place that help with my executive function, but I still feel that taking it would make my EFD better.

The feeling of "depression" has since subsided, but I do still suffer from brain fog frequently when I get overwhelmed with scheduling or tasks I deem "insignificant" that I need to do, such as:

Send a short email. Deposit a check. Put gas in the car. Send that Mutual NDA.

But large tasks like:

Run a 5k every day. Study a language for an hour. Design that app flow. Help a friend develop a business plan Organize and event for 50 people that serves dinner

are typically easy.

It's really the small tasks that break my brain. Big easy are fun and enjoyable because there's a tangible outcome, but small tasks that should be easy but have some sort of barrier just break me.

[digging]

Find a psychiatrist in your area who specializes in ADHD (psychologytoday.com is actually a great resource) and ask about ADHD diagnosis. You may want to get more than one opinion though; not all diagnoses are equal.

[stephenitis]

Thank you, I forgot about this resource!

[ayuhito]

I agree with almost all the points of the author, and I absolutely have seen the benefits of journaling and writing down any future aspirations like a TODO list.

> simply telling people about your future self also helps massively.

However, this is something I’ve found hit or miss. Telling people you know can set expectations, especially if you are passionate about it. You can set the bar incredibly high for yourself and be satisfied with partial success, but you won’t feel as satisfied if you didn’t match up to a friends expectations after hyping it up, even if they are still incredibly supportive of you. In the end, I’d rather show them my actions and results than overhype them with words that shoot for the moon.

[ants_everywhere]

This is basically what I do, so it was cool to read. For others who do this, I'm curious to hear what you've done or built since taking this approach.

Also to add to the Atomic Habits recommendation, I'm partial to this William James chapter on habits that was first published in 1897: https://psychclassics.yorku.ca/James/Principles/prin4.htm

[fy20]

I read Atomic Habits late last year and it didn't really resonate with me. Maybe I just had too high expections of it, as basically everyone says it's a must read.

This year I've read "The 12 Week Year" and it clicked so much more with me. The book is more practical and goes deep into processes and steps you can use to achieve your goals.