[AlienRobot]

Google: if your website is full of ads, we'll downrank you. >:(

Also Google: we automatically enabled vignette interstitials on your website. :)

[sidewndr46]

Google: if your website is slow to load we'll downrank you

Also Google: builds tool that claims you load a bunch of JS & CSS from their ad network, thus making your own website slow

[ipaddr]

If you are fast to load we will present a slower amp link instead

[rmbyrro]

Don't forget bloated Google Analytics and ad tracking garbage.