[wizerdrobe]

I’m fully estranged from my father since 16 and have flirted with severing ties with my mother, with whom I have a contentious childhood relationship and an adult relationship punctuated with obvious favoritism displayed towards my “good” brother.

Both are certainly downstream of the “me generation,” in terms of how they’ve lived their lives and so I ask, “if you live for you, why should I pain myself to please you?”

Interestingly, neither my parents nor my wife’s parents have guest bedrooms in their 4+ bedroom homes. Yet they wonder why we seldom visit. There’s no question of their ability to have one, they have the room and the finances. They just choose not to.

There’s something fascinating with our parents generation.

[tharkun__]

Why are you putting such emphasis on having an actual guest room? My parents (in law) don't have an actual guest room. When we stay there, various arrangements are made for everyone to have a bed available during the stay, but they're in various other rooms.

[wizerdrobe]

Both parents previously had a guest room but at some point decided to eliminate them in favor of storage for their things, their hobbies, etc.

Then wonder why we are hesitant to spend the money on boarding dogs, driving 5+ hours and renting a hotel. Asking us to commit to $500+ dollars for weekend casual visits is unrealistic and absurd for wealthy retirees.

To be clear they not only have no guest room they have no where for guests to stay.

[tharkun__]

While at the end you do mention that they also have no space for someone to stay if you ask me it's overshadowed again by your focus on not having a guest room.

Our parents also used to have "guest rooms" by virtue of just keeping the kids bedrooms as-is for a while. Then at some point each changed these rooms over to other uses as well. No difference from what I hear you say really.

Maybe this is different for your parents (in law) but your communications make it unclear. Did you ever talk to them about it? There are sofa beds in some rooms, which we use when we stay but I would never ever expect them to not use the room(s) for their purposes under normal circumstances.

[wizerdrobe]

It is clear you have different cultural expectations. I’ve stated the problem quite clearly and your insistence on interrogating me about my family is unwelcome.

Have a great night.

[tharkun__]

I'm not the one that posted information about your family in a public forum. If you don't want people to know about or ask about information regarding your family situation then don't post about it.

It does seem like I hit a nerve though. Cultural expectations or not, I do hope it makes you think about some stuff at least.

Have a great day!

[endofreach]

Which generation are you talking about? How old are you?

[wizerdrobe]

I am early thirties, parents are boomers (1957, 1959)