[Buttons840]

Forgiveness has a double meaning, two separate but closely related concepts; those being:

(1) Letting go of negative feelings, a "conscious choice to let go of anger and resentment". This meaning of the word happens internally and is separate from what happens externally.

(2) Letting go of boundaries or consequences for those who have wronged you. This is the "not forgetting" part of "forgive but not forget". This meaning of the word happens externally. Some people don't consider it true forgiveness if you don't also let go of the consequences; that is, you must forgive and forget.

I would say (1) is always good. Let go of hate for your own mental health. (2) is more situational, but it's worth talking about explicitly. It's worth determining what exactly "I forgive you" means by talking about how boundaries, trust, and consequences have changed.

[bjornsing]

The word forgiveness can mean "enforcing boundaries or consequences on those who have wronged you"? To me that's kind of the opposite of forgiveness.

[Buttons840]

Rather, letting go of consequences and boundaries. Missed a negative.