you cannot erase that much value and say "nothing important happens", market cap is largely a rough proxy for the amount of disruption if something went under
I do not think the situation is remotely comparable to the possibility of the banking system collapsing. Banks and other financial institutions exert leverage far beyond their market caps.
"whose" money matters here. It's VC money, mostly. Well-capitalized sophisticated investors, not voters and pension funds.
If Microsoft loses 30 billion dollars, it ain't great, but they have more than that sitting in the bank. If Sequoia or Ycombinator goes bankrupt, it's not great for lots of startups, but they can probably find other investors if they have a worthwhile business. If Elon loses a billion dollars, nobody cares.
It is VC money pricing in the value of this enterprise to the rest of society.
More over, if capital markets suddenly become ways to just lose tons of money, that hurts capital investment everywhere, which hurts people everywhere.
People like to imagine the economy as super siloed and not interconnected but that is wrong, especially when it comes to capital markets.