| This question speaks to the biggest communications battle I have had for the past 20+ years in my career. I have a coworker that uses his quick talking ability to manipulate, accuse and scam his way through meetings and his daily work. He is management level (so am I) and it's impossible to have reasonable discussions for many reasons. My solution: I graciously communicate in a professional manner, work properly with this person as a normal work flow. I listen and give my feedback and this works really well to make the day go smoothly for both of us and anyone else in the area. After any encounters with this person, I think about what happened, I make some notes about the events (date stamp it as well) and then let it sit in my mind until the next day at a minimum. I have found that after doing this, I realized what really happened, (if I was tricked or manipulated or not) and then I do all of my responses in email. I do not even try to do it verbally. In fact I have told this person and upper management, that I am not comfortable talking about events _because_ I am do not have quick responses to ward off the manipulations (I don't call it this to upper management though). I state plainly that I do not want confrontation, and I just want to do my job, and I get too emotional and can sometimes communicate poorly verbally. This is a reasonable statement, and I no longer have to replay my conversations when things go wrong, because I do it all in writing. This has had the side benefit of causing this bully to back down, because he has relied on hiding behind clever wording and phrasing that I could not counter. And because I am being very open about my responses, he knows he would have to do the same if we wants to respond and his true motivations and intent would be revealed. So I am now simply happier at work. I hope this helps some. |