| As an eventual-athiest I spent a long time trying to uncover a "purpose" for my life and failing hard. People would say I had to "make my own purpose", but I was cynical and felt the world was filled with mean-spirited and incompetent idiots on a path to inevitable worsening scenarios and eventual extinction. For many years I lived a very hedonistic lifestyle with the idea in the back of my mind that I would just off myself whenever life got too hard or I just tired of it. Eventually, like many others here, I came to the logical conclusion that the purpose of life is to propogate itself. On further reflection I began to notice more positive traits of humanity. I stopped reading the news and started spending more time on local interactions with individuals. I decided humans, though flawed, were as good a candidate to replicate their form across time and space as any other. I enjoyed interacting with children, but I didn't want to bring a new life into a world of suffering and I was not in a position to offer a stable upbringing so having a kid of my own was off the table. Instead, I focused on other ways I could improve the odds for team human, helping those around me reach their own goals and lead more fulfilling lives; and working on structures to help overcome and minimize the inherent flaws of humanity. As I worked to help others, more rewards (both material and psychological) flowed back to me personally and I gained a more optimistic outlook. Eventually I found myself in a place where I could reasonably expect to offer a secure life and a healthy upbringing so I did have some children of my own. This cemented my newfound perspective even more and since then I have found meaning in working to ensure their future and to instill in them a sense of meaning and civic responsibility that I hope will benefit humanity in the long run. It sounds like you don't want to have children and I definitely don't recommend doing it just to "find meaning," but consider what you can do to help create a fair and prosperous future for your species. |