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by dijit
842 days ago
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Hey Dostoynikov, theres no real answer here, but I will share with you some solidarity. It can be comforting to believe that moving around a lot is a source of your loneliness and lack of belonging, I am here to tell you that unfortunately you can have that feeling even if you stay in one city as I did. What I have found has worked for me is finding external groups that transcend physical proximity. In the early 00’s I joined an IRC net and throughout my teens and 20’s it was, at times, my only support. It got me through multiple country moves and friend group resets. However, one thing that is your superpower now: you have had the means to reinvent yourself and wipe your slate clean many times over. You might find that you don't feel that you belong anywhere but you fit in most places, and thats a very important first step into feeling belonging. |
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Thank you for your words. Finding external groups that transcend physical proximity is definitely a thing. Sometimes I find and meet good people on the internet or IRL. But making, maintaining and growing a friendship feels too much of a hassle. I don't know if it is because of my past experiences mentioned in my article or not but this what it is unfortunately.
It is not that I can't get along with people. People around me really like me actually. They always try to have a chat with me or invite me to somewhere. Although I really love having beautiful conversations, my social battery is so weak. 30 mins at max and then I want to stay alone with myself.
You are right about superpower. I fit in most places without problem. Is is just I don't feel belong there. I got what you mean overall, though. I appreciate your beautiful words.