[acdha]

An example which I’ve seen raised by researchers: 20 years ago, choking was considered an extreme, pathological case due to the risks. Now it’s very easy to find surveys where women report pressure or even attempts to do it without consent because a generation of men grew up with porn presenting that as standard. The same is true for things like anal sex, etc. which aren’t enjoyable and involve hassle/risk for the female partner but a lot of young men don’t realize that because they’re used to seeing porn actors imitating pleasure and often masking discomfort. I wouldn’t expect anyone to say that there were never extreme porn options on the market but it seems pretty broadly accepted that a lot of previously niche things have become mainstream as vendors are trying to stand out in a very competitive market.

[x86x87]

I'm sorry, what? Choking someone without their consent? This is not porn, it's assault.

Anal sex is not enjoyable? It is. And has been a thing for eons. In fact anal sex was a way to workaround getting pregnant before birth control was a thing/was mainstream.

I feel like we have the puritan point of view of what sex should be and anything that is not that is bad/not pleasurable.

So here's where I land: what whatever you want. Do whatever you want in the bedroom as long as it's 2 consenting adults. I don't believe that porn itself is to blame or be demonized for anything.

I also firmly believe that porn may provide an outlet for people to see and experience things that they don't want or cannot experience in real life.

[acdha]

> I'm sorry, what? Choking someone without their consent? This is not porn, it's assault.

Seeing it in porn is what makes some men think it’s mainstream and something that their partner should enjoy, and there are many reports that it’s no longer uncommon for someone to try it unsolicited and then express surprise when his partner complains.

> Anal sex is not enjoyable? It is.

For men, yes, but women don’t have a prostate and report far less enjoyment. That doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been used for birth control (people have been joking about technical virginity for ages) but again there are many reports of women being pressured into it or having men try it without asking because those guys are used to porn stars pretending to find it incredibly pleasurable and, in many cases, not at all discussing how to be safe.

Again, the claim is not that porn is evil for showing uncommon things but the problems around misrepresentation and consent. If sites promote videos showing women pretending to find it highly pleasurable to be slapped or choked, having forceful anal sex, etc. some fraction of the men watching it are going to think that’s representative of real life. Hopefully they will talk with actual partners about what they enjoy, but that’s certainly not a given and there’s a long, ugly history of men resorting to threats or violence when they think they’re owed something.

This is another area where companies’ promotion algorithms raises questions about how much they’re contributing to a trend, too. If their design encourages studios to push boundaries harder to get more interactions, the feedback loop is no longer organic - they’re shaping the market, not just responding to customer demand.

[x86x87]

you know, the same kind of discourse used to be applied around videogames. The claim was that they will turn kids into murderers. In reality: video games make you smarter and may even contribute to kids being more social.

It's the perpetual protestant bullshit that has plagued the society in US for hundreds of years now. God forbid we see a breast or are exposed to a dick or mention the possibility of inserting something into an asshole - everything will break down.

[acdha]

There’s a key difference: nobody thinks playing a game is practicing for a real career as a space marine or heroic paladin. There’s a ton of research published about how teenagers and young adults do pick up unrealistic or even harmful ideas from porn because, unlike almost all games, it is depicting a part of life they will actually practice. Worse, various sex negative cultural beliefs mean that there are a ton of people who are not getting countervailing information – you could argue, for example, that teenagers playing GTA encourages bad driving but they will have good examples from their parents & neighbors, classes, etc. explaining how it really works.

[x86x87]

Well. Nobody used to believe this. If you subscribe to the idea that porn alters your perception of reality I don't see why you can extend it to: videogames alter your perception of reality.