[aquarkortwo]

"Something else changed. Suddenly, the two layoffs stopped being of any consequence. They quite frankly didn’t matter anymore."

Beautiful piece. I feel this very deeply these days. Loved ones are all that matter in life (including ones no longer in my life).

The ideas here remind me a bit of the book "Man's Search for Meaning."

[thierrydamiba]

How do you balance this mindset with the cold hard reality that one needs to make money?

I’m currently unemployed and I am lucky to have a generous runway, but that runway will run out eventually.

The idea that nothing matters outside of family, friends, etc is tempting but I have made sacrifices in relationships with others and myself to be a more employable candidate.

For example I’m taking LLM classes on Sunday mornings which precludes me from interacting with loved ones. I can try to schedule things around that-but sometimes that isn’t possible.

I’m also working on other things, my health, my fitness, my spiritually.

Finding balance has been hard. I’m in a good spot now, but I do find myself wondering if my ratios of time invested are correct given the fact that I also agree that loved ones are all that matter in life.

[k8svet]

It's just framing, imo. Yes, I need to work to survive, but I'm not going to lose sight of the plot. My boss is not my dad, I don't care about his approval or making him happy beyond the confines of my job. And if/when I get laid off, I'm not likely to take that as a reflection of self.

If anything the detachment is powerful for those of us that have been raised to be people pleasers and expect loyalty to be repaid in kind.

It's much easier to realize you're a cog, it's not personal, and like a lot of things in life the pretense and fear of failure is often a huge upfront limiter.

[scarface_74]

I stay prepared to look for another job

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37969302

This has been my mindset since leaving my second job in 2008. I’m now on my 9th.

[toomuchtodo]

You do the work for the money, but you don't invest yourself in the work: you care about the people who love you back at home. In the end, the work (caveat edge cases) will be meaningless. You're converting time into fiat you need to pay for life. You can always make more money, time is non renewable.

"Today is your last day." "Meh, whatevs, going home to my family."

https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html

https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/08/putting-time-in-perspective.h...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Top_Five_Regrets_of_the_Dy...

(20+ years in tech, have been laid off twice, fired once, aware none of it really matters, we're all dead eventually, a blip in the cosmic timeline)

[scarface_74]

I found out I was getting Amazoned in the 13th city of a year long “nomadding” journey with my wife where we were booking one way flights across the country.

My wife asked me what was the plan. I told her nothing is changing, we went to our 14th city, I interviewed for three companies remotely and had two offers in three weeks. I accepted one and flew from there to meet my cousin in NYC for the US Tennis Open and met my wife in Chicago where my new employee shipped my computer.

I flew back home to end our year long trip, had Amazon ship the box to me to send my work computer back to them.

One monkey don’t stop no show.

[toomuchtodo]

Happy to hear you landed somewhere after Amazon.

[RangerScience]

Friend of mine went to Egypt, was floored by the pyramids (and more), so now I’m thinking along the lines of:

It won’t matter, so get drunk with your friends and stack some rocks.

[aquarkortwo]

>it won't matter, so get drunk with your friends and stack some rocks.

Good to take a balanced approach, but my thoughts too a lot of the time. I am most likely going to go to Patagonia in the next few weeks/months, a dream of mine, and then go home and see grandparents while they are still around.

[aquarkortwo]

My approach as well. Yep, agreed: we are just blips in the cosmic timeline.

The links are wonderful, thank you.

I appreciated the part about caregiver burnout:

"They are the shadow soldiers in the battle, where all the attention and support goes to the patient."

[jhaenchen]

Sounds like you're doing the right thing: trying to find a moderate position

[trandango]

Would those LLM classes be open to the public? I'm looking for classes taught by a live instructor. Also open to call to anyone else that might know of some good classes to join.

[soared]

Excellent book, on my nightstand right now!