[ikawe]

I’ve never interacted with this person in particular, but your description makes me feel seen. It so perfectly describes interactions I’ve had - where a clearly well meaning and in some ways capable developer makes tons of change requests, which are sort of neutral or maybe slightly positive even, but take up so much effort to incorporate relative to their value that it’s just not worth it, and in my estimation would be better off disappearing.

Often times, when I do work with them to get their changes merged, I’m tempted to make similar changes myself, rather than workshop pull requests for days and weeks. Not because I think the changes are even worthwhile to incorporate, but because it’s less painful than the back and forth to get their changes up to snuff - but “stealing their idea” is socially awkward for its own reasons.

There’s also sometimes a bias towards merging unless you find a problem, so it can feel really antagonistic. Strangers on the internet become your task masters to an extent.

The common reactions I see to not wanting these kind of contributions are “You’re looking a gift horse in the mouth!” Or “It would go more smoothly if you spent more time unwillingly being a Manager for strangers on the internet” or “You’re gate keeping.” To an extent I suppose all these things are true. But, that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision. It can be frustrating to experience and difficult to explain if you haven’t been in the position.

Anyway, it’s nice to hear someone else articulate my experience. It makes me feel less crazy. So I wanted to partially return the favor and say also that you may not be crazy.