[T_MacThrowFace]

But with the upside that it is technically unknown whether or not you actually could have pulled it off if you tried, and if every once in a while you manage to perform the impossible, that covers for 100 failures.

People who don't care about their children don't care about this, of course. You have failed them simply by being a child.

"Why didn't you just have better parents you stupid little brat, didn't anybody teach you anything you absolute dumbass lazy #%!£ moron?"

"I'm sorry, mom"

[StefanBatory]

It did mess up with my ego heavily. Because once in a while I would actually manage to push through anxiety and do something, and I'd succeed.

Unfortunately it made me quite narcistic, as I ended up with belief that I could always succeed, if only I gave in some effort - but as I never tried to do that in practice, I ended up at the top of Dunning-Kruger curve. High ego, no skills.

[high_priest]

Holy crap this feels so real.

Excelling at school & career at an early age, while being absolutely trashed at home/family time, gave me the anxt from sticking my head out of the room. But, at the same time, while out and about, already working on something, subconcious power trip in most interactions.

Like, when I am already on a roll, I have this vivid vision of the tasks to take & tools to use. I am quick to decide and to come up with solutions and at the same time very loud about it.

But every time I wake up, I feel worthless, scared that I am not enough, that one step into the world, means step between thousands of angry faces that want to hold my face against a gutter.

[StefanBatory]

Yep, this... :/

Wish I could say something, but I don't really, so I'll just send you a virtual hug.