[xyzelement]

My first couple of weeks at Bridgewater I was diagnosed with a fear of failure - deep reluctance to set off on a journey unless I could see the entire path through to the other side.

I thought that was a good way to be actually (keeps you safe from doomed endeavors) but obviously keeps you from progressing on things where the only way to figure out the path is to walk it.

In retrospect it’s a form of anxiety. If you assume the world is against you and dangerous then setting into an ambiguous space is probabilistically negative. If you have faith that things work out for the best, it lets you set out on such a path easier.

I think this isn’t just me. We tend to procrastinate in the absence of “perfection “ because we perceive some sort of danger / downside for ourselves from that imperfection. Whereas the better way to think is with the end in mind: what outcome do I really care about? Does this messy step X make that outcome a bit more likely? If yes then you do it with excitement.

[codelobe]

To lessen the cost of the first step that begins The Thousand Mile Journey: I plan to do everything at least twice. Leave room for failure in the prediction to (at least partially) avoid the planning fallacy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planning_fallacy (if you haven't encountered this one weird quirk yet, it's a must read/skim). I believe most mammals tend toward optimism... They naturally have less fear of doomed endeavors.

I had an essay on Emergent Design Principles around here somewhere... For instance, I do a quick and dirty stab in the dark to map the problem space. Then totally rewrite and refactor now that I can make a more educated guess. Right then I generate the API and all (public function stubs), organizing and documenting everything. Management will demand I "ship it" without full docs and full of kluges otherwise...

I'll save the rest of that for a more on-topic thread. The gist is that procrastination can be countered by allotting time to play around in the problem space (incorporate procrastination into workflow -- can't beat it, join it). At worse I try a deliberate attempt at failure (well I knew it wouldn't have worked, but it would have been cool if it had), and at least I got myself into "code mode" doing something at all. No fear of failure, since I planned to fail that time anyway. Then I'll at least know a bit better the "lay of the land" (problem space features to fit against). It's oft the first step for me that's the hardest.

My favorite trick is to have at least one side project that I work on as procrastination of doing main projects. Without fail I'll be worrying about the main project enough that I'll realize some side-project procrastination-code I've just written shows an elegant way forward in the main project and I can no longer resist the urge to see it in action. At the least I'll be making some manner of progress, and getting closer to that "Zen" state wherein I do my main project work.

[dakial1]

You are describing me perfectly.

One of the main things holding me back in life is this fear of taking risks (which translates into a lot of things, like procrastination)

I'm great at mapping project risks though. So there is that. :)

[xyzelement]

I agree, and I think these are really easy to munge (and I've munged them)

1) your ability to perceive risk that is there to be perceived and act accordingly.

2) your ability to operate in places where you are not able to make risk-based decisions and you have to just "go for it"

I am very good at #1 and it has been a handicap in navigating #2 because I keep searching for a "risk model" where one isn't available.

That was the thing I've learned to overcome somewhat, as mentioned in the post you replied to.

[hirvi74]

> If you assume the world is against you and dangerous then setting into an ambiguous space is probabilistically negative.

I have seen zero evidence that this is not true in my 31 years on this planet.

> If you have faith that things work out for the best, it lets you set out on such a path easier.

As Louis C.K. said:

> "An optimist is somebody who says, 'Maybe something nice will happen?' Why they fuck would anything nice ever happen?"

[xyzelement]

I love Louis CK but you're quoting a joke. In reality almost everything we do is rooted in some optimism.

Ever go on a job interview? It's because someone deep down you trust that it or another one like it will land you a job. Ever go on a date? It's because deep down you trust that something will work out with someone.

Maybe you don't do these things, or maybe you do these things expecting bad outcomes (which ironically nearly guarantees that outcome) but the majority of the world operates this way.

[awesomeMilou]

> Ever go on a job interview? It's because someone deep down you trust that it or another one like it will land you a job. Ever go on a date? It's because deep down you trust that something will work out with someone.

I trust statistical outcomes. I wouldn't trust going to just _one_ job interview in order to get a job, unless there's some extraordinary circumstance. Likewise, with dating, it's a game of statistics, or rather luck and attraction (simplified of course).

I have the same "deep down trust" for some random HR guy, as I would for a random stranger: none.

In addition, some things you can only do once. Like get a degree. Or start a company, because you only have the funding for one attempt. Not saying that it should keep someone from taking a risk, the point is though, this risk should be well calculated at least in the areas where information can be obtained.

Ask your insurance company or bank on how many decisions they make based on "deep down trust" or "a gut feeling".

[larrik]

I can definitely relate to this, and I found the only way past it (for me) was to not plan at all. Just show up and hope for the best, basically. Requires a different kind of prep (good habits vs direct planning) and an adjustment of attitude (it's fine if things aren't perfect).

[grvdrm]

Disclaimer: by no means a pro at my thinking...

One thing you have to practice is the art (science?) of separating emotion from action. My historical crutch is suffering from the emotion of failure or anticipation of failure and not learning as much from that failure. And, what looks like failure at the start of something may in fact turn the other way. Life, process, things evolve somewhat out of your control.

That ties to my other point. I think it's important to learn to give up power/control. Try to look things with an objective lens. What can you do, what can't you do, where do you need help, and methodically tackle. Worry less about where the power and control comes from and do things that drive toward an outcome.

I'm practicing constantly!

[snikeris]

Was this diagnosis from your employer or colleagues?

[xyzelement]

I think it popped up on an assessment, or maybe my manager quickly tuned it. Either way, the organization was very keen to identify and help grow through such stuff.