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I was bullied between 6 and 16. I got hit, mocked, ignored, etc. I felt like I did not exist apart in my head. My father was also very violent and I was scared shitless when he was angry. And he was always angry at something or someone. He tried to strangle my mom multiple times, hit me, broke windows, yelled like a madman... It turned me into a ghost, trying to be invisible while I hated not being "seen". I was crazy shy, couldn't look at people for long, felt bad whenever I saw they saw me. My safe place was the Web. It saved my life, and helped me find (or created??) my passion. It took me a good 20-25 years to evolve and start daring to live more the way I wanted. Now I'm 40, it's all far behind, but I still get sad from time to time, thinking about all that crap. Yet, I'm thankful, because it turned me into someone with a lot of inner calm, patience, empathy, and willingness to make people around me happier. I have very few deep relationships, but I value those a lot, and I don't need any more. Empathy, calm and patience are powerful and valuable skills to have in many life situations. |