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by Quinzel 850 days ago
I was bullied at school as a kid, it was shit… but sometimes when I look at what my bullies are up to these days thanks to social media, I can see quite clearly that despite being bullied, I fared better in terms of achieving a better education, higher income, and even being overall physically healthier. None of my bullies could run a half marathon now, most dropped out of university or never even attempted to go to university, and many of them are actually unemployed.

There’s no doubt in my mind that being bullied has significant consequences, but this post made me wonder… what’s the consequences later on for those who bully? Surely that kind of anti-social behaviour leads to poor outcomes for them too??

6 comments

> thanks to social media, I can see quite clearly that despite being bullied, I fared better

Last time I did this I discovered one of the more sadistic bullies I remember from grade school became an executive at Uber. So I'd rather not know. Though in the end it seemed like a rather fitting conclusion.

I think it's not the bullying itself that leads to those consequences. Usually, bullies act out on their fellow classmates because they themselves are bullied or not well treated at home. Some have abusive parents, siblings. Some may not have strong paternal figures or maternal figures in their lives. Some may have been neglected.

These things are what can cause bullying AND bad outcomes later in life.

Took a trip back to my hometown recently and recognized several of them doing retail and manual labor jobs. I won't lie, it was satisfying.
The feeling can only be described as: schadenfreude
It would have been schadenfreude if they were friends or neutral to them. It's rather enjoyment of the karma they got.
I don't know if I'd find the same satisfaction...

As an adult now, I realize that many people who were bullies in school came from troubled homes. I don't blame them. I blame more the circumstances that caused them to become who they were.

I’m afraid that behavior is often rewarded as adults as well in many environments
> I fared better in terms of achieving a better education, higher income, and even being overall physically healthier.

That's a funny observation, which I'm pretty sure is true for me too. I never looked up to many people though. at the same time, i also lucked into software, most people didn't do as well.

I guess it depends. Bullies with little self-control probably find it difficult to keep a good job. But there are also bullies with good self-control, who know perfectly well in each situation what they can or can't afford doing; those will probably succeed.