[assimpleaspossi]

The solution to dating app problems is actual human contact and throwing dating apps away.

There is too much to get wrong with text only. Say the wrong thing online and you're done. Say the wrong thing in person and you can judge by facial expressions that you did and get a chance to correct a misunderstanding. You also get a chance to actually see what the other person subliminally likes and dislikes. All in real time.

Sure, you can text "I like that" but how would you know what you were getting into?

[maxlamb]

I’ve dated for years without apps trying to meet people organically, and then also years through dating apps, and I’ve had way more opportunities for human contact with dating apps. I mean the whole point of dating apps is to meet in person once you feel the person might be a good match

[monero-xmr]

The benefit of dating apps IMO is that everyone on there is explicitly there to find a partner for some reason. In real life it’s a bit of a guessing game, which is fine, but the simple math is that love is easier to find where all the people looking for love are hanging out.

[sweetro17]

+1 - one of the biggest things we found actually, is externalizing the potentially uncomfortable elements of dating generally helps people be more authentic and focus on getting to know each other. A few examples:

- As you said, dating apps, everyone is there to date, so you don't have to feel awkward about approaching someone not knowing if they're not single or interested in you or even if they are in the mood for conversing with a stranger - Hinge did a good job forcing Q&A. Before that people often thought it was uncool / signaled trying too hard to add a bio so people often had less info to go on. - On our app - we helped facilitate where people went on their first date (generally tried to pick more affordable / neutral options) - this took the pressure off of worrying if the person picking made a bad / too crowded choice - blame it on us!

Not saying dating apps can remove everything uncomfortable about dating, but they can definitely help!

[waqf]

My experience is that the major limiting factor in finding partners is whether people "click" with me, not whether people are single.

In other words I'm better off going to an event with my kind of people and looking for the 5% that are eligible singles, than going to an event with singles and looking for the 0.5% that are my kind of people.

Obviously this would be different if you're a person who likes almost everyone and is attractive to almost everyone — a golden retriever, as it were. I offer no opinion on whether many such people exist.

[The_Colonel]

The trouble there is that the attractive people on the dating apps often aren't looking for partner, instead it's often just for self-validation. And as discussed above, these are preferentially shown to many people.

[Legend2440]

Really? I find that it is way easier to meet people in person. In real life, girls approach me at the gym. On apps, I get maybe one like a week and it's usually not someone I'm interested in.

[maxlamb]

Where do you live? Most girls I know where I’ve lived would never approach random guys at a gym…

[Legend2440]

US West Coast.

Just casually make eye contact with people and see who looks back. Smile at them. If they smile back, that's an invitation to talk to them - or sometimes they'll just walk up and talk to you.

[Sai_]

Socially, we have to reduce “riskiness” of IRL approaching people with the intent to date.

Right now, it’s scary to want to approach someone only to risk getting roasted for being a creep, barking up the wrong tree, and the myriad other reasons why people you want don’t want you.

It has to be thing everyone does - somewhat like bar hopping on a weekend. You know you’re at the bar to find someone and so is everyone else.

[poulsbohemian]

>The solution to dating app problems is actual human contact and throwing dating apps away.

You aren't wrong, but you dramatically expand your dating options by using these apps. Just relying on your social circles is no different than remaining in the Middle Ages, just relying on a possible partner to show up at church or in the market. These apps spread your geographic and social opportunities, after that it's up to the human contact you describe.

[intrasight]

Read subreddits about dating and one will conclude that folks had much more success with their small social circles in the Middle Ages.

[nemothekid]

>The solution to dating app problems is actual human contact and throwing dating apps away.

This is backwards. Dating apps were a solution to the problem of opportunities of meeting potential mates drying up. Dating apps wouldn't be popular if "actual human contact" was a viable strategy.

[slothtrop]

They're a vehicle for human contact. It's just that there's a lot of filtering out at outset.

[sgillen]

I mean apps can facilitate actual human contact though, common advice I see is to transition from text to a low stakes in person meet up as soon as possible.