[mancerayder]

That's a recipe for women to feel creeped out. Even at Meetups women get bugged by men who for lack of a better term lack awareness and communication skills.

And by this I do imply men talking to women, because despite claims to the contrary, it's the accepted norm (and there are always exceptions). That's my experience, it may be different in same sex communities.

There's no great place for people to meet anymore.

[throwaway2037]

> That's a recipe for women to feel creeped out.

Countless surveys have shown that women do want to be approached. And don't forget about the "Brad Pitt vs Stalker" duality that exists for women and dating: They either view you as handsome who can do no wrong (including approaching them at Meetups), or some kind of creep. There is little in-between. Also, women view about 80% of men as unattractive. It is not a normal distribution, as men rate women's attractiveness. The open secret is that you need to approach lots of women on a regular basis in all sorts of different settings. Eventually, you will find luck.

[leach]

Basically this, the bookstore was a stand in for any type of place that you may frequent and see others frequent.

People react differently to being approached, just like anyone would. If they are just into you it works. If not some are polite and see it as a compliment and just say no. Others will be offended and scoff. Either way no one gets hurt and you just move on.

Eventually you just get lucky with someone who is interested in you back. This is kinda how it was for most of history, so I find it odd people are so against it now. We are social creatures! go out and meet people, if they happen to be mean oh well, that reflects entirely on them.

[helloplanets]

> Also, women view about 80% of men as unattractive. It is not a normal distribution, as men rate women's attractiveness.

No source for a claim like this, on a forum where it's the norm for even the most mundane things? Please link one, would be interested in having a look at the study.

[quantumspandex]

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23060886

[helloplanets]

Thanks for linking the source.

> At least on OKCupid, women rate 80% of men as below-average attractiveness, while men rate women at right about 50% as below-average and 50% as above-average

is very different from

> Women view about 80% of men as unattractive. It is not a normal distribution, as men rate women's attractiveness.

Pretty confounding to take that sort of a logical leap in a thread that's about the dark patterns, gamification and the highly modified context into which dating apps transform dating inside them.