The newest Casetas are called Diva, and are basically like rockers that are stateless (return to a neutral position after tappdiva, again you can't have a true state-perfect switch, unless it's motorized and to my knowledge nobody makes that.
I like lutron caseta, but I believe those do not fit the bill here. The light on the side may reflect the current light level, but the slider doesn't move. I had some levitron smart lights previously and while I wouldn't recommend them, they had two buttons instead of a physical slider to adjust brightness and avoid the problem altogether.
We installed a Lutron Sunnata to replace a 3 way and dimmer. They are awesome, with a capacitive-touch LEDs bar graph replacing the slider. They feel really like the right solution.