[msabalau]

My wife and I did city hall, but with the encouragement of my mother-in-law who thought it was it was smart and sensible. (And, it was, in fact, what she had herself done.)

I managed to persuade my wife and mother-in-law that could be fun to have a small celebratory reception for a close group of immediate family members, which we did three months later. Small and intimate, with 20 people, it was easy to pull off, and the official marriage details were already complete, so that was less pressure, and we could just focus on being present with our guests.

And three months after that, we had a small reception with friends, because I persuaded my wife that her close friends would enjoy a chance to celebrate and see her in "the dress". Which they did.

Splitting what would normally could be an overwhelming thing into three small parts removed a lot of stress, was cost effective, and also meant that the wedding gown got to be used three times, not once and then stored. Maybe not the best choice for everyone, but it can be a fun option.

[r00fus]

Definitely support the "rolling thunder" approach to weddings vs "big bang" - our wedding years ago was in 3 different locations with 3 different groups (our kids are very multi-ethnic/national) over the course of a year and it would have been impossible to merge the 3 groups or expectations (we joked about "extending the tour" to other locations/groups but life intervened).

[razakel]

It's not for everyone, but getting the formal process over and done with and having a less formal party at a later date will probably save you a lot of stress and money.

Especially if you don't tell the venue that it's a special occasion...