[michaelt]

Allow me to let you in on a little secret.

When you don't want to do something, but you also don't want to be blamed for not doing it, you can transfer the blame to someone who isn't there.

Boss wants to go out drinking after work which is his idea of 'team building' but you don't feel like it right now? "Well gee boss I'd love to come, but my wife's expecting me home by 7pm. Happy wife happy life, right?"

About 75% of the time when you hear people in the workplace saying "happy wife happy life" what they actually mean is "thanks for the offer but no thanks, and don't bother trying to cajole or peer-pressure me"

(Veterans at transferring blame will go even further, transferring blame to abstract concepts like 'market conditions' and 'company policy' )

[slowhadoken]

Yeah that’s just as worse. You’re socializing around your wife being abusive. Makes the boss seem like a loser too.

[michaelt]

> You’re socializing around your wife being abusive.

Not at all, for all they know you're living some 1950s lifestyle where your wife has dinner on the table just as you get home, and it'll be cold if you're late. Or if they prefer, they can imagine you're a progressive modern father, going home to change diapers and help with bedtime. Or they can imagine you're deeply in love, and eager not to disappoint your best friend in the whole world.

There really is nothing abusive about a man saying he likes his wife to be happy. Making an effort to make the other person happy and them making an effort to make you happy is the whole point of a relationship, isn't it?

[slowhadoken]

I’m good at cheering people up and making them laugh. You can’t make people happy ESPECIALLY women. You’re just setting yourself up for failure. All you can do is support people and enable good decisions so that they can learn how to have a fulfilling life.