[mulmen]

This is the stuff of nightmares. I would take whatever amount of PTO necessary to avoid this abuse around my birthday. Did you at least ask before advertising personal information to coworkers? Surprise party suggests no consent was obtained.

[johnnyanmac]

Comparing an impromptu gratitude to abuse is exactly why tech has such a negative stereotype in terms of social dynamics.

[mulmen]

Your gratitude is someone else’s abuse. I doubt you meant to cause harm but unsolicited celebrations hurt people. Please stop acting without consent. It’s never ok. You’re hurting people. Stop.

[johnnyanmac]

>Your gratitude is someone else’s abuse.

I see the golden rule is dead.

> I doubt you meant to cause harm but unsolicited celebrations hurt people.

I've never thrown a work party. But if my thanking or praising you is abuse then I feel this is a personal issue than a character flaw. Learn to take a compliment and learn to bow out gracefully. There's way too many impromptu abuses of your time and energy by corporate leeches for a random celebration of life to be considered torture.

[mulmen]

> I see the golden rule is dead.

You have completely misunderstood the meaning of the golden rule. “Treat others the way you wish to be treated” does not mean “subject others to your personal desires”. It means “respect the wishes of others as you would want them to respect yours.” You have no right to compel the behavior of anyone else.

> But if my thanking or praising you is abuse then I feel this is a personal issue than a character flaw. Learn to take a compliment and learn to bow out gracefully.

Please stop being a bully. You are hurting people with your behavior. Please stop hurting people.