| TLDR: Love your kid. Read and sing to your kid - even if you are an awful singer. I read and sang lullabys to both my kids from when they were weeks old. THey didn't understand, but the memory is worth it, and I continued to so nightly until they were 7 or 8...or until they repeatedly said "Daaaaad! I'm too old for lullabys and bedtime stories." Then just read one more :) Spend ALL the time with your kid - the time FLIES and one day you'll look at your 14 year as he mouths off to you and wonder how just moments ago you were cuddling with him as you were trying to put him to sleep in his crib. I'm a night owl, so i never suffered from 'sleepless' nights like so many people complain about. Once my son's could take formula (ie when my wife wasn't necessary for the feeding), those were my favorite times: my wife could stay asleep and I could just grab a bottle and sit up every few hours through the night and feed them. Just me and either of my kids. Cherish those moments. It is no exaggeration when a parent or grandparent tells you "Enjoy this moment because they fly by and before you know it they are grown." 15 years from now you'll wish for the sleepless nights when you were holding your baby trying to soothe them back to sleep. "Lead by example" - You try to teach your kids the things they should know and to be better than you. Sometimes that means doing things better than you did (ie teaching them from mistakes or bad habits you might have), but kids are perceptive and will "learn it by WATCHING you". "Do as I say, not as I do" is less effective than leading by example. BE the man you want your son to be or your daughter to end up with. It's very difficult to backtrack on this when you realize you've been the wrong example. Around 10 or 11, they will stop needing you as much or seeing you as their only hero. Take full advantage of the years before this to be the hero you want them to have and remember. Teenage boys will rebel against their father and test boundaries. If you've set god boundaries and led by good examples and taught them good fundamentals, they'll circle back once they realize who they are and that you have always loved them - even during the arguments. Be careful with criticism - even when trying to be helpful and constructive. They have a funny way of remembering constructive criticism as "negativity" :) Overflow with praise for them - when deserved. Reign it in - but give it - when it's less so. They'll know that when you say something, you mean it. When they're older sometimes you have to be "the bad guy" to help them learn right from wrong. Stand your ground if you know you are right, but always let them know you love them and are willing to talk about whatever dilemma they are going through. End of the day: Love them the best that you can and tell them that every single day. |