Because I started thinking about which device (nuke vs. lead bullet) was more capable of delivering computational malware, as that would lend itself to more entertaining pun.
But I eventually decided that wasn't a fruitful vein of humour, so I pared it back to mere mention of the weapon.
I.e., even though I no longer jad a reason to prefer the bomber over the pistol for the pun, I stayed with it out of mere joke-planning inertia.
Why mention just one or the other in my original comment?
Well, because, as you probably know, brevity is the soul of wit.
You're not thinking like a modern *aaS company. I'm waiting for subscription-based pacemakers. $9.95/mo for up to 60 beats per minute or $19.95 for unlimited heartbeats. Sign up for a year now and get an additional 3 months free :)
"We hope this message finds you with your beats still strong and rhythmic. It is with a heavy heart (pun fully intended) that we, at PulsarTech, your trusted provider of the world's first Internet-connected pacemaker, announce the discontinuation of our heartbeat-as-a-service (HaaS) platform. Yes, it’s time to say goodbye to those sweet, life-sustaining firmware updates and cloud-synced palpitations."
I'm hoping that in this hypothetical there is an OpenHeart group that shared software and build scripts for self-hosting the heartbeat cadence functionality.
Oh, the Convair B-36 Peacemaker definitely delivered malware.