[VoodooJuJu]

I would say have some courage and re-embrace what you left behind. You even recognize you were wrong to abandon it, that it actually did something for you. Don't feel bad though - many moderns are in the same boat. Modernity has broken so many of us. Just cut your losses and get back to what you know is good and true. Returning to it, I think you'll have a very uniquely powerful perspective. You know what it's like to live with and without it, and now you know it's better to live with it.

It's like brushing your teeth. I can tell you it's good. But how do I sell it to you? I sell you belief - scientism studies and whatnot.

That's what religion is. It's things that are good and true for you and everyone around you, a handful of wise men recognize this, but then how do they sell it to everyone? Through belief. Unfortunately, you have a problem believing, but that's ok, lots of moderns do. But you seem to realize that what's being sold is actually good for you. You've admitted as much by saying you feel like something's missing. So just skip the belief part for now and get back to what the belief is actually trying to sell you: the philosophies.

Rather than waste time visiting a bunch of new age-y islands, maybe just get back to the shores you initially departed from.