[ColinWright]

I was at a ballroom dancing competition. I wasn't competing, I was there to support some friends, so during the free practice sessions between rounds I asked various women if they would care for a dance.

So my first words to the women who would become my wife were:

"Would you care for a quickstep?"

If you want to find a SO then you need to meet people. If you want to meet people you need to go where they are. So you need to have hobbies or activities that allow you to meet a wide range of people. You will already have at least one thing in common, so that's a start.

Go to a juggling club, or a walking club, or a dancing club. Play ultimate frisbee, join a maker space. Go and be where people are talking to each other.

Or use an on-line dating site and rely on the algorithms.

EDIT: We met when I was 32, we married when I was 39 ... there are storied to tell about the time in between, but this is not the place.

[yfh]

Thanks so much for the story

I want to, but I have no idea what hobbies to pickup or where to search for places where people hang. I walk for hours to fill the void, but I end up feeling even sadder.

[ColinWright]

If you walk on your own, or stay in on your own, then you won't meet people. To find someone you need to interact with people.

If you walk and walk and walk on your own, that's not going to help you meet people. I don't know where you are or what is around you, but is there a walking club? Is there a bridge club? is there a tennis club? Football?

It's almost axiomatic that if you want to met a SO then you need to meet people, so you need to find local clubs or societies that you can join.

Does your local library have a bulletin board with listings of clubs in the area?

Clearly it won't be easy because you haven't done it yet, but if you don't make the effort to find some way to interact with people, then you won't meet people, so you won't meet a (potential) SO.

[jurassicfoxy]

If you like long long walks, you could check out trail running / ultramarathon groups. Lots of people to meet at free running nights, which is twice a week at every running store. You don't even have to run! Just walk!

Do you have a dog? You could do dog training. Do you do art? You could take art classes. Do you like to code? (Obviously) Go to coding meetups. Do you like writing/poetry? Go to poetry / open mic night. Do you like games? Check out gaming stores for social events.

Do NOT expect to get dates at these places: that's a bad strategy. But try to meet friends at these places. You meet partners by proxy, and by having fun with your friends.

As a straight male: it's a lot easier to meet guys than to meet girls. Use that strategy.

[nrjames]

Not sure where you live and whether there's an opportunity nearby, but curling is a ton of fun and a very social sport. Check to see if there's a local curling club and, if so, whether they have an instructional league. I really enjoy the sport but it's the people that I've met while doing it that have been the best part. There's a tradition called "broomstacking" that follows games, where the winning and losing teams all sit around a table and socialize (maybe have a beer, etc.). Being heavily Canadian influenced, the #1 rule is not to disparage anybody else. The rude and mean folks kind of self-select out.

[twunde]

One place to search is the local Parks and Rec website (for your town/city and potentially nearby ones). your town and/or library may also have their own separate events pages, which can be useful as well. Depending on your interests, it may also make sense to search for climbing gyms, dance classes, art classes and try them out. You can also find some things on Facebook and Instagram, but I find it hard to start out.

[rowborg]

Met my wife of now 13 years at age 30 via a group dinner put together by a mutual friend. A good friend of mine just met the love of her life at age 39 via online dating. Don't stress about getting older; when you find the right person it will just click.

> I have no idea what hobbies to pickup or where to search for places where people hang.

I suggest that instead of finding a hobby that you think will help you meet people, you focus on what you love to do. If it's a solo activity (e.g. gaming, coding), go figure out how to do it socially (meetups, game nights, hackathons etc). Follow the stuff you love and use it to connect to people. It will allow you to be authentic and meet people who have the same interests as you and share your values.

Hang in there!

[KyleJune]

Do you have any hobbies currently? If so look around for places where you can do that hobby with others. I think the Meetup app is good for that. Another option would be finding or creating posts on your city subreddit or nextdoor app.

Don't have a hobby that is good to do with others? Find one. Don't be afraid to be bad at it at first, you'll get better at it overtime. This past year I picked up strength training and this spring I'm going to try rock climbing more. I was surprised by how much I enjoy strength training, going into it, I thought it would feel like a chore that would be difficult to keep doing.

[yfh]

I don't have any hobbies, I used to play games online but thats it. Maybe my problem, I don't know how to strike up a conversation with others (and maybe extend it beyond the the hellos).

[simne]

Begin with just attending nearby events, and read about networking from entrepreneurs.

You could also attend courses of sales persons, they teach people exactly to begin conversation and to got what you need (sure, most sales target sale, but you could target something other, for example to get contact or to begin conversation).

[D-Coder]

Meetup.com is free and has all kinds of interest groups. In my area, it has several dating / relationship groups.

NB, if you go to a "how to date / build a relationship" workshop or seminar, pretty much everyone there is single and looking.

[KptMarchewa]

Rock climbing/bouldering

[jurassicfoxy]

Second this. Bouldering is the MOST social sport on earth. Literally 80 % of the night is sitting around chatting. Plus it's full of young, fit, healthy people, and a good quantity of women. It's honestly perfect.

[KptMarchewa]

It's also insanely fun. It's literally the first sport I've not done because I've done whole lot of justifying in my head: that I need to do this for my health, to lose weight, it's good for me, or that while you do it it's kind of fun. I do it because I want it, and pretty much every session I leave wishing I was fresh right now and could climb some more.

[anarticle]

The hobby doesn't matter, pick one and go with it.