[Dachande663]

I used to be the same. Until I started a family. You suddenly realise how… unimportant coding is when you have people who depend on you and you them. I’m a different developer now than I was back then, but I think better for it.

[TacticalCoder]

> Until I started a family.

I'm 51 and I've got a family too (9 years old kid) and my love for coding and tinkering with computers never went away. For example yesterday evening when they were asleep I spent hours playing with a (used) NUC I just bought. I did hack on some scripts too.

My hobbies are my cars and computing and I love that, since forever. And I still love these even though I've got a family.

I'd argue that something that you love and that you suddenly don't love anymore once you have kids is something you didn't really love that much.

A family and a love for the craft are definitely not mutually exclusive things.

[elteto]

Let’s not pass judgement on what other people love or not. You simply have no idea.

There are many things I love but since I got a family I just don’t have time for them. Or if I have the time I realize there’s a million other things I can be doing with my family.

You have cars and coding. You spend time on those hobbies and presumably not with your family. OP just realized he’d rather spend it with his family.

[scruple]

I love my family and I love programming but I'm only showing up to daily standup because they pay me to.

[dottjt]

It's possible to love something for a period of time, and then no longer love it as you find other substitutes for it.

[hotpotamus]

I've never found the job to be all that important; especially once I saw how quickly my work was discarded for some new, fashionably different way of doing things. Honestly it's scary to imagine that some child's health insurance would depend on me staying on the treadmill of ever-changing tech nonsense. I doubt my ability to keep pace for a couple decades.

[makeitshine]

I'd say that applies across the board. For most, that kid is more important than anything else.

[mettamage]

How are you better for it?

[elteto]

Me, personally, I’m better on the soft skills. Things like better organizing my work and strongly separating work and personal life.

My work day is 8-5 and that’s the time I have to get everything done. That’s it. I don’t take work home so I better make the best of the day.

[Geisterde]

Id also be interested, I see learning computer skills as a way to eventually make my families life better by creating solutions for things around the house. Have you reoriented your efforts to something similar?