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I, for one, Trust The Institution™! The Most Glorious And Wonderful Headmaster is a doctor, lawyer, engineer, military general, and astronaut!

As the symbolic parent of every child who attends, his picture hangs in every classroom. The Great Worshipful Headmaster has more parenting experience than all parents in the village put together!

He has brought us Parent-Child Science from the gods, which he used to prove which religion is the best for kids, and has published many papers on how voting for the wrong party (or listening to Taylor Swift) is literally child abuse.

I eagerly await their next communication!