You don't need to homestead. There is relatively inexpensive housing in many areas and even some entertainment and dining options. Heck, I'm within range of going into Boston for an evening/night and I'm pretty sure where I live is much cheaper than in the city or immediately outside. (And when I moved here, there wasn't even much tech in the city proper.)
Yes, this was my point. Leaving NYC or the Bay Area does not mean you have to live in a sod hut and fend off the James Gang. You might just have to live in, like, Lansing or Huntsville.
Or even a further suburb/exurb of a major city. The Bay Area probably throws a lot of people off because it's hard to do a day-trip out of high priced areas. That's not really true of a lot of major cities.