[theGnuMe]

>I've forgotten so much and when I compare myself to those who seem to be able to talk circles around me when it comes to these topics I feel even more discouraged especially when I feel like I should know these things already.

Sounds like there is a fear of rejection or failure at the root of it. I get that, for me it manifests as anxiety. It is the same anxiety that plagued me in math classes.

You can ask yourself what evidence you have that you are bad at architecture? You say your boss is happy with your performance. So the evidence you present isn't consistent with your world view. The fact that you understand that you don't know everything doesn't mean you aren't qualified, it actually makes you more likely to be an expert. This is the known unknowns vs the unknown unknowns vs the unknowable.

Burnout is a side effect of all this. Extreme stress would be the manifestation of true overload.

You state that you want to become a better lead.. what does that mean exactly? What concrete steps can you take?

So take my example of having a fear of math and math exams, so called performance anxiety, how would you advise me?