[Sevii]

The way foster care works children will be placed with foster parents for a few years, then be returned to their parents, then be placed back in foster care with a different family, over and over again. The system is not setup to prioritize a stable environment. The reality is that to provide a healthy stable environment for these kids, we would have to effectively eliminate their parents from their lives. We'd basically have to say, "It's great you are off drugs and have a house and job now, but you don't get to have your kids back ever because they need stability". In general we prioritize getting kids back with their families over a healthy or stable environment.

[em-bee]

the problem is that children need both. a stable environment and a good relationship to their parents. therefore, if the parents are the cause of the instability, it's actually the parents who need help, therapy and what not. the failure in the current system is not providing that help.

so what we really need is a system where parents can develop a good relationship with their children, while having the support to build that stable environment.

i have seen an example in germany where the parents and kids live together in a form of supervised housing, where the family is not on their own but where multiple families live together with one or more socialworkers supporting them, making sure that things do not go out of hand and the parents can learn what a stable environment is (because most likely they didn't have a stable environment when they grew up themselves, so they have no experience to draw on)

[g-b-r]

That's dangerous though, there have been cases of widespread unjustified foster care placements

[sokoloff]

Not to mention making an already gut-wrenching decision (to place your own child into the foster system) even more difficult if it's perceived to be a one-way door.

[cool_dude85]

I think this may be different stae to state. Here you cannot just place your kid in foster care, they need to meet certain criteria e.g. they are abused or neglected. I guess you could purposefully neglect your kid but there are legal risks there for sure.

The way you can choose to "place" your kid in foster care is to voluntarily terminate your parental rights, which is outside of very rare circumstances a one-way trip. Regardless it is still done both for medical reasons and inability to deal with behaviors.

[em-bee]

couldn't you do it privately? find a family who is willing to take care of your kids for a while without getting any government agency involved?

[cool_dude85]

Yes, it's pretty common. The downside to these kinds of arrangements is that the family potentially is not able to do a lot for the kid. If the doctor or the school system decides to ask for any paperwork you're not technically able to take the kid to the doctor, make educational choices, etc.

[em-bee]

true, but whether that is an issue really depends on how involved and cooperative the parents are. presumably if parents are looking for private foster places they are able to be involved when needed, like register kids for school. the doctor should also be manageable, otherwise i could not even send my kids to their grandparents for the holidays. so i think in most cases this should work out. no doubt however there are cases where it doesn't. but in such cases government involvement is probably warranted anyways.