[jstarfish]

Your experience was undeniably terrible and her behavior is highly unethical (yet not criminal...) but you're simply incorrect in ascribing this to a particular clinical disorder. She's found a grift that works. That makes her a grifter, not a Narcissist.

Want to meet a real Narcissist? Go talk to any businessman convicted of fraud who continues to insist they're the greatest investment advisor ever, they did nothing wrong and everyone is just out to get them.

Or the covetous types who complain that everyone else has nicer things than them and so they deserve to have even better things-- for no real reason. They're not hardworking or successful, but they expect all the rewards of a lifetime of labor to just be handed to them because they deserve it. Your abuser was willing to actually do the work of fleecing people.

I get where you're coming from-- she exhibits behaviors from the covert Narcissism checklist. This is not the only diagnosis these behaviors are associated with. If that helps you name-and-tame the trauma, more power to you-- I started there myself and have since found the world of behavioral analysis is not limited to the domain of Narcissism. For example, autism is easily confused with Narcissism (not that I'm saying it applies here).