[all2]

> They're raised with different expectations of what is acceptable...

I see your nurture over nature take. I'm not convinced that environment beats it biology in this case, but I'm not expert.

> Am I an effeminate man for reading erotica? Is my girlfriend a masculine woman for watching porn?

As I said in reply to another comment here: generalizations are useful until they aren't. In single person cases a broad generalization is not particularly useful, as it is meant to describe common or emergent behaviors in groups of people. Are you and your SO farther down the curve of the distribution? Sure. Is one trait predominantly associated with one sex and the other with the other? Yes. Does that matter so much? Only as much as you want it to.

My observation isn't "bad" or "good", it is only an acknowledgement of general contrast between the sexes.