[m0rissette]

My son passed May 10 2018; I was drunk from May 11 2018 until sometime in 2022 with struggles off and on. I’d love to chat about the insane level of grief I experienced and maybe help or just listen. Come find me if you’d like.

[WiSaGaN]

I've come to understand that parents who have lost a child often face significant challenges in maintaining their relationship. Could you offer advice for such parents, both for before and after experiencing this tragic event, on how they can stay united and prevent further losses in their lives? Additionally, are there circumstances where it might be healthier for them not to stay together?

[m0rissette]

Coming up on the 6th anniversary of his death; my wife and I are separated and going through a divorce. I’d like to say it is all my fault because I am still emotionally unavailable but it takes two.

As for advice I think as we all relationships, communication is key. I dropped the ball here because honestly the first year I only got out of bed to go to the liquor store.

Year two, I drained my retirement to live while staying 24/7 obliterated and not dealing with what can only be called a complete loss of one’s identity and self.

I don’t think it is healthy for us to stay together because she took the loss much easier than I at least from all outward appearance.

Years 3-5 was a very introspective and healing time where I went through periods of depression and hopelessness.

I’m now in the rediscovering who I am phase because I kind of lost that along the way.

So in conclusion, a combination of LSD and therapy(CBT) allowed me to start moving forward with life and slowly getting out of a never ending cycle of grief.

That probably doesn’t answer your question but I think every one who has to go through this kind of event is going to handle it differently.

[WiSaGaN]

Thank you for your answer.

[m0rissette]

I’ve found after years of trying to escape all that I’ve lost. Talking about it helps the most.

You can see the PTSD and anxiety still has me up at 4:16am, I still don’t sleep well. I’m still healing and I imagine I may never fully heal but I do have hope that one day I will be better and have grown immensely through the experience but even today I have survivors guilt for being at work instead of home.

[stef25]

Yup something like 9/10 couples who lose a child end up separating and I totally understand

[highwaylights]

I’m deeply sorry that this happened to you both and, for whatever it’s worth to you, I’ll pray for you and your son today.

I couldn’t and wouldn’t pretend to understand what you’re going through - I’m just a stranger on the Internet that hopes that with time your struggles ease and you’re able to find a way forward.

God bless you both.

[rand0m4r]

My 23 year old son passed away in march 2021 - this is exactly what i've been living. Stay strong.